精东影业

鈥淲e wanted to be together but are scared of our families, so coming here was the only safe option for us,鈥� Imran, 21, says. He and his partner, Neha, 18, were escorted by a police constable to a cramped 鈥渟afe home鈥� for runaway couples in the Ambala district of Haryana, India, at around 4:30 p.m. on a sunny day in June 2024. They had been granted police protection that morning at the Ambala district court. The couple鈥攚ho met in 2023 at a wedding in Konkpur near Ambala before connecting over Instagram鈥攈ad run away from their homes to marry.聽

After they eloped, the couple, who are interfaith, sought the district court鈥檚 protection from their parents and broader society. Imran is a Muslim man and Neha is a Hindu woman in a country that has always frowned upon interfaith relationships, but they are even more vulnerable now due to rising religious extremism. The court instructed police to mediate between the couple and their families, leading Imran and Neha to relocate to a safe home.

A similar scenario played out for Suhana Begum*, a Muslim woman who lived with her family in Bharog, also near Ambala. Her parents forcibly confined her to their house in 2019 after she told them she loved a Hindu man named Rajiv Saini* and wanted to marry him, despite the difference in their religious backgrounds. 

鈥淲e met at my aunt鈥檚 wedding where he worked as a DJ operator,鈥� Begum, who is 32, says. 鈥淗e gave me his number through friends, and a few months later we started talking to each other.鈥� But when her family discovered their relationship, they held her captive to prevent her from communicating with Saini. 鈥淔or two years, we couldn鈥檛 speak to each other, let alone see each other,鈥� she says.聽Since their villages are close to one another, she would hear news of his well-being from mutual contacts.聽

After being confined for four years, Begum persuaded her family to allow her to join a polytechnic school in the village so she could enroll in a grooming and beauty course. That鈥檚 when the couple decided to elope and seek refuge at the Ambala safe home, where they would both have police protection.  

Begum joined Arya Samaj, a Hindu temple that conducts legally valid Vedic wedding ceremonies without elaborate rituals or caste restrictions, and converted to Hinduism in order to marry Saini. 鈥淥ur parents were upset with us when we ran away from our homes,鈥� she says. 鈥淲e were scared that they might come after us, so we decided to seek legal help. One of Rajiv鈥檚 friends had also had an intercaste marriage, so he helped us get married and get police protection in the safe home.鈥澛�

Begum says she endured taunts and mockery from Saini鈥檚 village community and his family for being a Muslim. 鈥淏ut eventually, everyone calmed down,鈥� she shares. 鈥淲e moved to Ambala right after we got married. 鈥� Initially, it was difficult to get everyone to love us and respect us. But slowly, they have come to terms with our marriage. Everyone in his family calls me Khushi since I changed my name to Khushboo after our wedding.鈥澛�

Begum and Saini never considered religion a barrier to their love. Now, even her own family agrees that Saini is the best partner for their daughter. 鈥淚t doesn鈥檛 matter that his religion is different,鈥� she says. 鈥淗e is a good person, so I fell in love with him.鈥�

How Haryana Became the First Indian State With Safe Homes

In the early 2000s, people in Haryana scorned and actively attacked intercaste and interfaith couples, as well as couples from the same Gotra (clan), village, or adjoining villages because these were considered incestuous relationships. Their resistance to these couples helped give rise to honor-based killings. The families of these interfaith and intercaste couples鈥攐r an unlawful village council, called a Khap Panchayat鈥攕ocially ostracized, harmed, or killed their relatives for wanting to marry people of their own choosing rather than those chosen by their families.聽

Thanks to concerted efforts from social activists, socially conscious law-enforcing agents, and the judiciary, in 2010 the High Court of Punjab and Haryana directed police in Haryana and Punjab and the union territory of Chandigarh to create operational safe homes for runaway couples. Since Haryana had a deeply entrenched tradition of honor killing those involved in self-choice marriages, the then Haryana government became the first state to establish these safe homes.

Jagmati Sangwan, a member of All India Democratic Women鈥檚 Association (AIDWA) and an active campaigner for safe homes, remembers how the honor killings of several couples pushed AIDWA to call for safe homes, an idea favored by Haryana鈥檚 government at the time. 

鈥淭hese safe homes have been instrumental in saving so many couples from being mercilessly killed, and it allows space for runaway couples to rebuild themselves to face society together,鈥� says Sangwan. However, as Sangwan notes, 鈥淎fter the safe homes were formed in Haryana, we pushed for a law against honor killing, but that was never enacted.鈥澛�

It is difficult to ascertain accurate data on honor killings because they are grossly underreported, and in most cases, the families of the couples, the Khaps, and the village community hide such killings until they are reported by the media. 鈥淭he bride鈥檚 parents faced a lot of social pressure, so they would coax the newlywed couple to come to the village and meet them,鈥澛� says Vikas Narain Rai, retired deputy general of law and order of Haryana. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 when they would kill them, or if they see them in the market then they would murder them.鈥澛�

In 2000, conducted a study that estimated that as many as 5,000 girls and women lose their lives to honor killings around the world each year, though some nongovernmental organizations estimate that there are each year. By June 2024, with one in the Jind, Sirsa, and Hisar districts, respectively.

Given these statistics, Rai explains there has been a 鈥渂arrage of petitions from young couples seeking police protection,鈥� so 鈥渢he High Court ordered that the couples be given protection in the initial period until the pressure from their families is tapered and they can figure out their life forward.鈥�

Hindu Supremacy鈥檚 Influence on Interfaith Couples

Aside from social disapproval of self-choice marriages, India is seeing a growing trend of brutal attacks on interfaith couples, particularly Hindu鈥揗uslim couples, by Hindu supremacists and Bajrang Dal members鈥攖he youth wing of the Sangh Parivar, which is the ideological branch of India鈥檚 ruling Bharatiya Janata Party. 鈥淭he opposition against interfaith marriages has become more aggressive than ever before,鈥� Rai says. 鈥淚t鈥檚 gone beyond the families in the current scenario.鈥�

Ashutosh Kumar* married Alfia,* a Muslim woman, in June 2023 after meeting on Instagram and feeling instantly connected. They lived less than one mile apart from each other, so they decided to run away from their families to seek protection in the Ambala safe home for seven days. Now, nearly two years later, Alfia鈥檚 parents don鈥檛 speak with them, though Kumar鈥檚 parents were on board with the marriage.

鈥淲e were in a relationship for about two and a half years before we ran away to get married,鈥� Kumar shares. 鈥淚鈥檇 started saving up money for a year because I knew she would call me any day to say that she had run away from her house and then I鈥檇 have to run too.鈥�

When the two landed at the Ambala safe house, Alfia had nothing with her. However, Kumar had taken a friend鈥檚 advice and withdrew more than $175 (Rs15000 in his own currency) from his bank account, so they were able to begin rebuilding their lives. 鈥淥ne doesn鈥檛 need phones to pass the time,鈥� Kumar says. 鈥淲e were accompanied by five [other] couples, so everyone would share their stories, and that鈥檚 how we spent our time away from everyone at the safe home.鈥� The couple made friends with others in similar circumstances. 鈥淲e continue to stay connected,鈥� he says.

The couple eventually left the safe home and married at Arya Samaj temple, after which they stayed with different relatives and friends for more than a month before returning to Kumar鈥檚 home. However, it wasn鈥檛 a smooth journey for the couple, as Alfia鈥檚 parents kept intimidating and invoking fear among Kumar鈥檚 family and distressing the couple.聽

Meanwhile, Kumar benefited from being a Hindu man marrying a Muslim woman and was able to gain a Bajrang Dal member鈥檚 support. When the scenario is reversed and Hindu woman marries a Muslim man, right-wing agents call the pairing a 鈥渓ove jihad,鈥� an unverified conspiracy theory in India that alleges Muslim men lure Hindu women into relationships to convert them to Islam.聽聽

Asif Iqbal, founder of , a nongovernmental organization that helps interfaith couples register and legalize their marriage without religious conversion, says it has become an increasingly common practice for Hindu men marrying Muslim women to approach a right-wing organization and persuade them into intimidating their families into accepting the marriage.

Runaway Couples in Haryana

Between 2018 and 2021, 10,736 couples took advantage of the shelter offered by safe homes. A female guard at one of Haryana鈥檚 safe homes tells 精东影业 that most couples consist of young women between the ages of 18 and 21 while most of the young men are between the ages of 21 and 24. 鈥淭he highest numbers are that of intercaste [couples,] but interfaith couples also come, and about 10% are from the general category or same-caste couples,鈥� says the guard, who asked to remain anonymous. 鈥淥nce the couples arrive at the safe home, they are not allowed to step out even to the verandah of the building but they are free to roam around inside. We are responsible for them so we have to ensure their safety.鈥�

Couples from the neighboring state of Rajasthan also use safe homes in Haryana because there are none in their state.聽However, as more couples seek safety in these homes, the homes themselves are facing a major funding challenge. As a police superintendent who asked to remain anonymous explains, 鈥淭he police department doesn鈥檛 have an additional budget for the maintenance of the safe home.鈥�

There is a 2018 apex court directive for all 22 Indian states to implement safe homes. As a result, there are such facilities in Punjab, Maharashtra, and New Delhi. However, neither the state governments nor the central government has passed a law to implement the directive.聽

In current-day India where interfaith unions are increasingly under state-sanctioned assault, Dhanak for Humanity鈥檚 Iqbal points out the need for political will to be used to expand Haryana鈥檚 model and make safe homes a part of the legal system across the country. 鈥淭he future for safe homes is bleak, and it will continue to be a makeshift arrangement unless an act is brought in to formalize it,鈥� he adds.

Despite the challenges, safe homes are critical to the security of runaway couples and help reduce incidents of honor killing in Haryana. 鈥淪afe homes are a very good thing for couples like us,鈥� Kumar concludes. 鈥淧eople should not look at love marriages negatively. Whether parents choose or the boy and girl choose, ultimately, it is the couple who have to live together, right?鈥�

* The names of some people have been changed to safeguard them from potential abuse and harassment.