精东影业

As I wait for my first guest, I wonder what sort of characters would sign up for this.

鈥淭his鈥� is LokPal鈥攁 local cooking workshop, premised on strangers 鈥渟haring a meal and sharing a bond.鈥�

Then Abby arrives, wearing cherry-red lipstick as bright as her smile. As I hand over her name tag and prepare to ask the usual barrage of small-talk questions, Abby makes the first move, deftly breaking the ice with tales of her kindergarten classroom.

Next is Tania, a marketing specialist with the down-to-earth manner characteristic of England鈥檚 鈥淣orth.鈥� She鈥檚 followed by Sana, an Indian woman with unending enthusiasm and a penchant for vegetarian cooking. Stanley arrives, and then Doris, two salt-and-pepper-haired strangers radiating a gentleness that makes you feel you鈥檝e known them for years. Last is Alex, whose serious face stands in stark contrast to his neon-yellow jacket and quirky sense of humor.

These six are joined by 40 others who鈥檝e signed up for LokPal鈥檚 four-week series of cooking classes in which residents of Cambridge, England, can connect with their 鈥渓ocal food, local area, and local neighbors.鈥�

Yet what unites more than half of this Breakfast Club-esque crew of varied personalities goes beyond a longing for localism. Rather, it is a longing for meaningful social connection鈥攁n affliction the research literature calls loneliness.

鈥淲e all know why we鈥檙e here,鈥� Alex tells the table, forking a wad of watercress into his mouth. 鈥淚t鈥檚 not just to cook local food. It鈥檚 to make friends. And we don鈥檛 know how or where to do that anymore.鈥�

Armed with a passion for farmers markets (and a practical need for a master鈥檚 degree research topic), I created LokPal to study the social dynamics of local communities in the era of e-commerce and friend networks over social media. Using questionnaires, participant observation, and focus group interviews, I鈥檇 hoped to gain some insight on the value of in-person interaction.

But what exceeded my wildest expectations鈥攁nd completely shifted the thesis鈥� focus鈥攚as uncovering just how many Cambridge locals felt lonely. When signing up for the LokPal sessions, more than 50 percent of participants reported sometimes or often relating to all three signposts of loneliness: feeling 鈥渋solated,鈥� 鈥渓eft out,鈥� and 鈥渓acking in companionship.鈥�

These 20 Cambridge residents are only a microsample of the 9 million Britons who chronically feel lonely, which studies have linked to weak immune systems, an increased risk of cancer, and shorter life spans. Perhaps that鈥檚 why Britain, with its overpressured and underfunded national health system, has taken preventive action by creating a government minister of loneliness.

Attempts to address this ailment are not totally new to the U.K. A quick Google search reveals the nation鈥檚 considerable number of loneliness-combating charities. Yet among the biggest organizations, there鈥檚 a common misconception. AgeUK offers befriending services, but only to senior citizens. Silverline offers a 24-hour helpline specifically for older people in want of conversation. And even the inclusive-sounding Campaign to End Loneliness primarily targets the elderly population.

What national statistics reveal, and what LokPal鈥檚 demography helped illustrate, is that loneliness is no longer the preserve of the elderly and isolated. To the contrary, increasing evidence suggests that loneliness occurs in equal or greater proportions among the young and the employed. One recent study by Britain鈥檚 Office for National Statistics suggested that 16- to 24-year-olds are three times more likely to be lonely than those 65 and older.

鈥淚 had thousands of people around me at work, but I always felt very isolated,鈥� Sana confesses. 鈥淵ou know, there were lots of colleagues, lots of dinners. But it was all very formal, and I鈥檓 not in touch with anybody now.鈥�

Neuroscientist John Cacioppo offered an illuminating analogy: Just as hunger can happen where food is abundant, loneliness can happen where people are plentiful. Dr. Vivek Murthy, a former U.S surgeon general, recently echoed that point when he called loneliness an 鈥渆pidemic,鈥� as deadly as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.

Of course, dramatic analogies and talk of epidemics provoke the skeptics. Some doubt that loneliness is higher now than it鈥檚 ever been, blaming the apparent outbreak on a low bar of survey criteria or manipulative government public relations moves.

There may be some truth behind those claims. But it鈥檚 hard to deny that the friend-making climate has changed since 1966, when the Beatles first asked 鈥淎ll the lonely people, where do they all belong?鈥� As highlighted in the book Bowling Alone, the mid-20th century demarked peak rates of community participation through sports, civic groups, religious institutions, shops, and social workplaces.

But over the past 50 years, the culture of individualism has slowly contributed to the social decline of community. Instead, in recent years, Britain has topped the charts for eating alone, shopping online, declaring 鈥渘o religion,鈥� and working in isolation. And perhaps as a result of this individualization of public life, Brits overwhelmingly view their neighbors as strangers.

Back in a cozy classroom of the University of Cambridge鈥檚 sociology department鈥擫okPal鈥檚 makeshift kitchen鈥攎any participants speak, spontaneously, about the increasingly isolated nature of British life.

鈥淢y son is a student in London and lives in a shared house with four people. They actually share the kitchen, bathroom, everything 鈥� but they don鈥檛 speak to each other,鈥� Doris reveals with astonishment. 鈥淚 can鈥檛 believe it, they just pass each other. They live completely independently.鈥�

Tania agrees, her voice tinged with nostalgia for her Yorkshire hometown, where, she says, neighbors are friends and strangers don鈥檛 think twice before pouring out their life stories.

鈥淚n Cambridge, I鈥檝e never spoken to any of my neighbors, and I hate that,鈥� she notes. 鈥淏ut it鈥檚 an area where everyone鈥檚 quite transient鈥攑eople moving in and out鈥攕o you don鈥檛 really see the point of making friends with them. You think, 鈥榃ell, they鈥檙e going to be moving out soon, so what鈥檚 the point?鈥欌��

That鈥檚 why Tania turned to the internet.

鈥淪o you鈥檝e got social pages like 鈥楴ew in Cambridge鈥擶ant to Make Friends.鈥� From there, you could message someone and say, 鈥楬ey there, let鈥檚 meet for a coffee!鈥� And the following day you鈥檒l have met the girl and made friends.鈥�

Most other LokPal-ers say their online socializing is limited to keeping up with old friends, not making new ones. Indeed, the results are mixed when assessing the internet as a means to increase social well-being鈥攚ith one experiment describing internet usage as both the cause and effect of loneliness.

That鈥檚 why the Beatles鈥� question resonates today more than ever: Where鈥攊f not the internet鈥攃an a lonely person go to find the in-person companionship and belonging they lack?

LokPal attendees deem a few factors crucial. Nearly all suggest that social spaces should bind those with 鈥渃ommon interests and needs鈥� and offer a regular commitment.

鈥淚 never felt like I was a part of community when living in Stratford,鈥� confesses Laila, a LokPal-er who recently migrated to England from the Middle East. 鈥淭hen later when I had a child here, I grew a community with other moms because we all have something we share. By going to the breastfeeding group every week, I made strong relationships through that common connection.鈥�

But this sort of organic group socializing doesn鈥檛 come as easily for men in the group, who mention that they find small talk difficult.

鈥淚 know my sister can just 鈥榤eet up鈥� with friends, but that could never happen with me,鈥� Alex explains. 鈥淭here has to be something we鈥檙e doing. Just sitting around and talking doesn鈥檛 appeal to me.鈥�

That exact philosophy helped found Men鈥檚 Sheds鈥攃ommunity hubs that foster social bonds through collective activities. Originally founded in Australia, the now-international nonprofit suggests that men best communicate not face to face, but rather shoulder to shoulder.

To enable this, Men鈥檚 Sheds offer a variety of hands-on projects, including woodworking, metalworking, repairing and restoring electronics, and even building cars. But, as explained by Laura 颅Winkley, membership and support officer of UK Men鈥檚 Sheds Association, 鈥渢he essence of a [Men鈥檚] Shed is not a building, but the connections and relationships between its members.鈥�

Winkley says that many men come to a Men鈥檚 Shed with pre-existing mental health issues but leave with a renewed sense of self. 鈥淲e鈥檝e met widowers who have struggled with depression and isolation, but have found a new sense of belonging and purpose through attending their local shed. Another Shedder I met with spoke of an addiction he had struggled with for many years. But having the [Men鈥檚] Shed to go to several times a week gave him a new purpose and drive to gain control of it.鈥�

Yet she adds that evidence of the success of Men鈥檚 Sheds goes beyond anecdotes. UK Men鈥檚 Sheds Association 鈥渨as originally founded in 2013, when there were just 30. … Fast-forward to today and there are over 400 Men鈥檚 Sheds open, and an additional 100 in planning.鈥�

While Winkley notes that the association is in touch with the U.K.鈥檚 minister of loneliness, she adds that most Men鈥檚 Sheds are entirely self-sustained through a bottom-up approach, relying on support from grants and donors. In this regard, there are challenges in finding physical space and keeping them affordable, if not free, for all members. On the subject of including women, there are exceptions, but most Men鈥檚 Sheds exist purely for 鈥渢he mental health benefits they bring to men.鈥�

These shortcomings of affordability and exclusivity are less prevalent in People鈥檚 Kitchen, a London-based nonprofit where locals can regularly come to cook and consume community feasts. Securing funds from private foundations, individual donations, and the local government of the London borough of Hackney, People鈥檚 Kitchen has received international praise for its sustainable, scalable, and anecdotally successful model.

As promising as these initiatives are, many of the LokPal participants I interview believe the government鈥攂oth local and national鈥攕hould be doing more to support and spread grassroots initiatives, such as People鈥檚 Kitchen and Men鈥檚 Sheds, and offer a more diverse range of activities.

鈥淛ust as there鈥檚 an Office of Tourism for people visiting Cambridge, there should be an Office of Loneliness, where people can come if they want more social connections,鈥� explains one 颅LokPal-er, Jolie, over a plate of potato salad. 鈥淏ecause even though there鈥檚 stuff to do for tourists, there鈥檚 something missing for local people.鈥�

Others add that loneliness requires more than bandage fixes from the minister. It requires both a long-term investment in community spaces and a cultural investment to destigmatize the affliction.

鈥淭he big thing is not making people embarrassed to look for friendship,鈥� says Carina, another LokPal attendee. 鈥淚f [the minister] helps us to go beyond that, I think we could just say, 鈥榃e all meet at this square,鈥� like how it is at the GP where you walk in.鈥�

Of course, LokPal participants aren鈥檛 representative of all lonely folks, as Ayia, a recent college grad, explains: 鈥淔or some people, coming into a place like this cooking workshop where they鈥檝e never met anyone before would be like a nightmare. But they鈥檙e still lonely. So I think another barrier that prevents people from talking to other people is anxiety, especially social anxiety.鈥�

Indeed, even talkative Tania admits coming to LokPal was a 鈥渞eally big step鈥� and that her social anxiety almost prevented her from coming at all. But it鈥檚 for people like Tania that gestures of social inclusion mean the most.

鈥淭wo weeks ago, I moved to a residential area, and I鈥檝e already been invited to their local bread club, where this lady makes bread for the local neighbors every Friday,鈥� she recalls. 鈥淚t鈥檚 really lovely鈥攕he鈥檚 telling me everyone鈥檚 names, their kids鈥� names, and I鈥檝e only been there two weeks, but she already invited me back to her house next week. I鈥檝e not felt a part of a community like this for years, but where I am now people are really happy to see me.鈥�