{"id":68326,"date":"2019-08-06T03:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-08-06T03:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.yesmagazine.org\/article\/happiness-culture-differences-gratitude-20190805\/"},"modified":"2021-04-14T13:55:18","modified_gmt":"2021-04-14T20:55:18","slug":"culture-differences-gratitude","status":"publish","type":"article","link":"https:\/\/www.yesmagazine.org\/health-happiness\/2019\/08\/06\/culture-differences-gratitude","title":{"rendered":"How Cultural Differences Shape Your Gratitude"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you\u2019re trying to become happier, you\u2019ve probably heard the advice to practice gratitude. \u201cGratitude is literally one of the few things that can measurably change people\u2019s lives,\u201d writes pioneering researcher Robert Emmons in his book Thanks!<\/em> His studies suggest that gratitude can improve our health and relationships<\/a>\u2014making it one of the most well-studied and effective ways to increase our well-being in life.<\/p>\n

But prescribing gratitude to everyone is a problem: Most of what we know about it comes from studying Americans\u2014and, specifically, the mainly white American college students from the campuses where researchers work. That creates a cultural bias in the science, and that\u2019s why more and more researchers are exploring what gratitude looks and feels like in a range of cultures.<\/span><\/p>\n

They are studying how children and adults worldwide naturally say thank you, and whether we can teach them to enhance their gratitude skills. The findings tell us something about a fundamental human experience\u2014appreciating the kind things that other people do for us\u2014and they offer insights into how we can spread gratitude around a diverse world.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Different Ways We Say Thanks<\/span><\/p>\n

Jonathan Tudge<\/a>, a professor at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, is perhaps the foremost expert on cultural differences in gratitude. When he first started exploring the topic 10 years ago, he found virtually no existing research.<\/span><\/p>\n

Last year, Tudge and his colleagues published a series of studies examining how gratitude develops in children across seven countries: the United States, Brazil, Guatemala, Turkey, Russia, China, and South Korea. They found <\/span> some similarities across cultures<\/a>, as well as some differences\u2014an initial glimpse at how our early steps toward gratefulness might be shaped by larger societal forces.<\/span><\/p>\n

First, they asked a group of children from 7 to 14 years old, \u201cWhat is your greatest wish?\u201d and \u201cWhat would you do for the person who granted you that wish?\u201d Then, they grouped the kids\u2019 answers into three categories:<\/span><\/p>\n

Verbal gratitude:<\/strong> Saying thank you in some way.<\/span><\/p>\n

Concrete gratitude:<\/strong> Reciprocating with something the child likes, such as offering the person some candy or a toy.<\/span><\/p>\n

Connective gratitude:<\/strong> Reciprocating with something the wish-granter would like, such as friendship or help.<\/span><\/p>\n

In general, as you might expect, children were less likely to respond with concrete gratitude as they got older. Younger and older kids expressed verbal gratitude at similar rates\u2014although there were exceptions to these trends. (Brazilian children showed more verbal gratitude as they got older, while concrete gratitude didn\u2019t decline with age in Guatemala and China\u2014where it was fairly rare to begin with). And as children grew older, they expressed more connective gratitude in the United States, China, and Brazil.<\/span><\/p>\n

Despite these age-related similarities, differences were still seen between countries. Overall, children in China and South Korea tended to favor connective gratitude, while kids in the United States leaned toward concrete gratitude. Children in Guatemala\u2014where it\u2019s common to say \u201cThanks be to God\u201d in everyday speech\u2014were particularly partial to verbal gratitude.<\/span><\/p>\n

Such variations in how children respond to kindness may set the stage for how they talk, act, and feel when they get older\u2014and other research does find that adults give thanks differently worldwide.<\/span><\/p>\n

In one <\/span>study<\/a>, Vajiheh Ahar and Abbas Eslami-Rasekh asked American and Iranian college students what they would say if they received different types of help, such as someone holding a door, carrying their luggage, fixing their computer, or writing them a recommendation letter. The researchers observed a number of differences between the students\u2019 responses in the two countries.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Americans were more likely than the Iranians to simply say thank you, compliment the person (\u201cWhat a gentleman!\u201d), or promise compensation (\u201cIf you ever need anything, let me know\u201d). Indeed, other <\/span>research<\/a> suggests that Americans (and Italians, too) are inveterate thankers, expressing gratitude in many everyday situations when people from other cultures simply do not.<\/span><\/p>\n

Meanwhile, the Iranian students used a variety of different strategies, depending on what the favor was and whether their helper had higher status than them (something that <\/span> Malaysians<\/a> take into account, as well). In particular, they were more likely than the Americans to acknowledge the favor (\u201cYou did me a great favor\u201d), apologize (\u201cSorry\u201d), or ask God to reward the person.<\/span><\/p>\n

Clearly, gratitude comes in different flavors\u2014and it seems that the roots of these variations begin in childhood.<\/span><\/p>\n

How Culture Shapes Our Thanks<\/span><\/p>\n

So why don\u2019t we all express gratitude in the same way?<\/span><\/p>\n

Cultural values, parenting practices, and education may each play a role. If you\u2019re an American adult, you might remember gluing together pasta ornaments or painting hand-shaped turkeys as holiday gifts for your parents, a form of the concrete gratitude that is so common among U.S. kids.<\/span><\/p>\n

Americans tend to be individualistic, in contrast to collectivist cultures that put much more emphasis on the social group. This is an important distinction, because (despite their underrepresentation in gratitude research) <\/span> 85% of the world\u2019s population<\/a>\u00a0lives in cultures that researchers deem as more collectivist. In such cultures, people put greater emphasis on harmony and honoring others\u2014values that would support the connective gratitude we see more in China and South Korea, which pays back kindness with things others might actually want. In fact, one <\/span> study<\/a> found that the more respect Chinese children show to parents, the more grateful they are.<\/span><\/p>\n

But Tudge and others have argued that separating societies into individualist versus collectivist is too broad, reducing the colorful diversity of the world to two rigid categories. Instead, they prefer to consider at least two other dimensions of culture: <\/span> autonomy\/heteronomy and separateness\/relatedness<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

In autonomous cultures, children are taught to be more independent and self-directed, whereas children in heteronomous cultures learn to be obedient to parents and elders. Cultures that emphasize relatedness put greater value on connecting with others and developing relationships, which is less important to those that value separateness.<\/span><\/p>\n

These two dimensions can be crossed to yield four types of cultures. Under this (still admittedly simplistic) schema, countries such as the U.S. would be described as autonomous-separate, whereas rural areas in developing countries would be heteronomous-related, researchers posit. But urban areas in developing countries, like China or India, would tend to be more autonomous-related, because big cities offer a competitive environment where people can pursue more education and opportunities for themselves.<\/span><\/p>\n

Theoretically, these autonomous-related societies would be the ones that are most supportive of authentic gratitude, because people would want to strengthen their relationships but would do so freely rather than out of a sense of obligation. True gratitude, after all, is not the polite thank you uttered to avoid seeming rude but a genuine wish to pay back the undeserved blessings you receive.<\/span><\/p>\n

Who Benefits From Gratitude Practices?<\/span><\/p>\n

So far, we\u2019ve looked at how children and adults in different societies naturally develop and express gratitude. But what happens when you try to teach people to be more grateful?<\/span><\/p>\n

This was the question behind a <\/span> 2011 study<\/a> in which\u00a0researchers invited Anglo Americans and Asian Americans to write gratitude letters to their friends and family. Each week, some people wrote for 10 minutes about their appreciation, and others (as a comparison) simply wrote about what they had done that week. They also reported how satisfied they were with life.<\/span><\/p>\n

After six weeks of gratitude, the Anglo Americans saw a boost in their well-being\u2014as <\/span> previous research<\/a> would have predicted. But the Asian Americans did not; their satisfaction with life barely changed.<\/span><\/p>\n

Similar studies have found that Indian and Taiwanese participants <\/span> don\u2019t feel more grateful<\/a>\u00a0and South Korean students <\/span>less of a well-being boost<\/a> after writing gratitude letters, compared to their American counterparts.<\/span><\/p>\n

Why don\u2019t Asian and Asian American participants see the same benefit from this practice?<\/span><\/p>\n

Expressing appreciation for other people\u2019s help may generate more mixed emotions for them, such as<\/span> indebtedness<\/a>, <\/span>guilt<\/a>, and <\/span>regret<\/a>. In a recent <\/span> study<\/a> led by Milla Titova, for example, Indians who wrote about their gratitude felt more positive emotions, but they also felt more guilt and sadness\u2014feelings absent in Anglo Americans. The guilt they carried was mirrored in their writings, which more often talked about feeling in debt. For example, one person wrote, \u201c[The] only thing which always pulls me down is that I could have given some gift as a token of gratitude.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Researcher Acacia Parks, who co-authored that study and others on gratitude, has <\/span>heard<\/a> from some Asian-American students that expressing thanks is uncomfortable because it attracts attention to them. One student even reported that her parents were insulted by her gratitude letter\u2014as if it implied that she didn\u2019t expect them to be so generous.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGiving and receiving help is an expected part of daily life for members of collectivist cultures, rather than an uplifting surprise, as may be the case for those from individualist cultures,\u201d write researcher Lilian J. Shin and her colleagues in their forthcoming <\/span> study<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Gratitude\u2019s Unexplored Territory<\/span><\/p>\n

Based on these mixed results, one might be tempted to conclude that gratitude is just not as important for Asian cultures. But recall that young Chinese and South Korean children are particularly skilled at connective gratitude, which goes beyond polite words to reciprocate in a way that is meaningful to the helper\u2014the closest to authentic gratitude that kids can come, Tudge said. And the culture of Asian cities should be supportive of gratitude. Might this all suggest that, in fact, gratitude comes more naturally to Asians than to others?<\/span><\/p>\n

We can\u2019t say for sure. It\u2019s likely that we don\u2019t understand the best ways to teach or even show gratitude in different cultural contexts. For example, \u201ccultures as varied as <\/span> the Japanese, the Inuit, and the Tamils of South India <\/a> have developed entirely different ways of dealing with the receipt of gifts,\u201d <\/span>explain<\/a> researcher Dan Wang and his colleagues. They write:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSaying \u2018thank you\u2019 is the polite thing to do in the United States but, whereas it is incumbent on the Japanese to repay a gift with one of at least equal value, receiving meat after a hunt is not viewed as requiring gratitude among the Inuit, and although the Tamils find it easy to express their thanks nonverbally, it is much <\/span> more difficult to do so verbally<\/a>.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Researchers in that 2011 study touted gratitude letters as a self-improvement exercise\u2014to boost your mental and physical health. But this pitch may be less appealing outside of American culture, with its strong emphasis on chasing personal goals and taking control of your life. That\u2019s why researchers are so careful about how they advertise an experiment\u2014because they know that what people expect can influence their motivation, effort, and perception of its results. If gratitude had been sold as a way to strengthen relationships, might those same students have seen different outcomes?<\/span><\/p>\n

Another complication is that those few experiments all asked people to write gratitude letters, which simply might not be the ideal way to show gratitude in all cultures. Or it might matter whom we choose to express our gratitude toward. In the study where Indians felt more guilty, they were more likely to spontaneously focus their appreciation on people outside their family and even strangers\u2014the kinds of people whom they might feel obligated to repay for going out of their way to help.<\/span><\/p>\n

To reduce these niggling negative feelings, Titova and her colleagues suggest that people from more collectivist cultures could be guided to think about the help they receive in a different way. \u201cIt might be possible to stave off indebtedness by encouraging participants to think of the target of their letter as having given their gifts freely, not expecting anything in return,\u201d they write.<\/span><\/p>\n

What\u2019s clear is that gratitude deeply intersects with a culture\u2019s attitude about the self and its relation to others. Are we individuals forging our own paths, or members of a larger whole? That belief may vary from person to person; cultures are not monolithic. When children in the U.S. say that their greatest wish is for someone <\/span>else\u2019s<\/em> well-being, their gratitude tends to become less concrete and self-focused and <\/span> more connective and relationship-promoting<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Gratitude is, after all, ultimately a skill that strengthens our relationships\u2014and it arises when we pay more attention to our relationships and all the gifts they bring us. \u201cAt a time when the society seems to be more about <\/span>me me me<\/em>, we really need to get people thinking about connections,\u201d Tudge says.<\/span><\/p>\n

For Tudge, that means thinking about gratitude less like a good feeling to boost your happiness score\u2014and more like a moral virtue: a repayment and paying it forward of kindness that are part of being a good human being. Continuing to study cultures beyond the United States\u2014ones that acknowledge just how much our lives are enriched by our interdependence with others\u2014may help us get at this deeper and more complex understanding of gratitude. Then, we can learn how to make it a way of life, however different our lives may be.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

This article was originally published by Greater Good<\/a>. It has been edited for 精东影业 Magazine.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Americans say \u201cthanks\u201d a lot, but other cultures may have a deeper understanding of gratitude. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":65079,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","format":"standard","categories":[7,282,283,284],"tags":[],"article-type":[252],"master-category":[465],"special-series":[],"type-of-work":[],"class_list":["post-68326","article","type-article","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health-happiness","category-mental-health","category-mindfulness","category-empathy","article-type-analysis","master-category-health-happiness"],"acf":[],"apple_news_notices":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow Cultural Differences Shape Your Gratitude - 精东影业 Magazine Solutions Journalism<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Discover insightful articles on How Cultural Differences Shape Your Gratitude. 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